Building Better Homes

Bismillahi Rahmani Raheem

We have been hearing a lot of issues recently about differences between spouses and how it leads to ending relationships. There are some genuine cases where there is no other way than get separated, i am not talking about it.

May Allah preserve our married lives..Ameen

The couple who accepted each other under the bond of marriage within months decides otherwise. It has become so common now that it doesn't shock people anymore.

When a girl gets married she has high expectations and dreams about how perfect her Prince charming is going to be and how Wonderful a fairy tale her life is going to be.

She expects it would go exactly the way she had it in mind, how he will wake me up with a kiss, how he is going to surprise me with new dress kept on the bed with a romantic note, how he will hold my hand while out in public, how he will keep saying ‘’I love you’’

and the list goes on and on..even if it isn’t so dramatic as mentioned above.

Every girl has the right to dream and so do a boy, the problem is not about dreaming but expecting and falling into depression when it doesn’t work out.

Marriage is not just a fairy tale, It is a bond of mercy where two individuals decide to take up the responsibility of leading a new family not because they have to but they want to.

It Happens only when there is so much love and mercy in your heart for the other.
It cannot work as long as you are working on your own dreams and finding ways to fix your own issues. 

Happiness which we try to gain is actually hidden in the happiness of our spouse.

How we can help build Better Homes for ourselves and our children

*Nikah is half of deen. Teach children as they approach the age how important it is to get married in Islam and why.

*As parents giving children an idea about marriage as they grow up and making them realize it is not a bed of roses will be an initial step.

*It is not possible to stop girls from watching Princess stories but make sure they know they are just stories and never can a frog or beast be a prince nor a does a mermaid exist.

* Read or tell them stories of Prophet (peace be upon him) and how his wives treated him and vice versa.

* Try to live what you speak, as children learn from actions than words as we all know.

* It is quite natural to have honeymoon period soon after marriage but every mature individual should grow up with life. As life progresses responsibilities increases so we rise with it.

*Social Media like Facebook , Instagram keeps giving colorful images of life. Youngsters  get influenced easily. Make them understand comparison is very unhealthy.

*Every human being is different and so does the way they express love. Simple gestures men do like helping in a kitchen, ordering food out, helping kids with home work all this is love too.

*Most movies, TV series and advertisements use Love as theme as it has been running successfully for ages and it plays a big role in creating an unrealistic life in the brains of young men and women. We should be aware.

*  "Our Lord! Bestow on us from our spouses and our offspring 
the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders of the Muttaqun." (Quran 25:74)

The perfect dua Allah taught us to make for a beautiful married life, and it can be done before marriage as well.

*Getting separated is the last resort in Islam.

Everyone thinks about getting separated but what next is something which never comes to mind. The grass always looks greener on the other side, once we actually get into Plan B do we understand everywhere problems exist.

"They (your wives) are your garment and you are a garment for them" (Quran 2:187) 

The above verse is a complete explanation of what it means to be soul mates.

May Allah preserve and increase the blessings in our family lives...Ameen!!

(I am only writing with my limited knowledge, please excuse.

May Allah forgive me for my shortcomings).

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